Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
