So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
if only i could text you this smell
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
We need to get me chipped asap
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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