she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
You can't just leave with hair like that
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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