ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
