just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Randomize
