She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
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