College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
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