8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
