If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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