I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
