if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
