I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
And then my night got REAL pukey
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Randomize
