There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
