your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
