dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
