i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
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