you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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