Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
