margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
