i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Randomize
