Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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