Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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