what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
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