I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
