We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
