Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
