i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
