i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
either way he was missing a nipple.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
