Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize