I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
we're so committed to being not committed
Randomize
