Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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