She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
