am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
