My first STD was from a foam party
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
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