I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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