God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
