He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
