New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Randomize
