You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Randomize
