He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Randomize
