Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Randomize
