You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
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