Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
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