I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
I wish there were birth control emojis
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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