The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
