Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
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