omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Randomize
