Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
