I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize
