I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
