She announced her abortion via fbk
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
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