i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
