Can i not drive my cunt home
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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