I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Randomize
