He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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