hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Sex in the backyard? Check.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
