That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
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