Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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