i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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