no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
