She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I am full of burrito and curiosity
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Randomize
