we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
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