I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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